I would love to hook up with someone on a semi-regular basis, but the reality is that I am not prepared to upload a photo, so....what are the odds?

But then, perhaps you are like me? A sincere, real person who has respect for their own privacy and would like to keep it that way. If so, let's start a conversation. Who knows what could happen?

I'm game if you are!

I am looking for someone who is so ludicrously thin that I will spend most of my day worrying that she will snap in two. However, she must have breasts that are so enormous that when we are driving people will think that the airbags have deployed.

A great conversationalist, and able to make a joke, ruminate on the latest writing from Gore Vidal and comment about the separatist ambitions of Taiwan and Xinjiang, preferably all at the same time. Your favourite colour will be purple, although you will own no clothing in that shade. You will spell both "favourite" and "colour" with a "u" in the appropriate location.

You will be a regular church-goer who only visits sites like this to make disparaging comments about the people who frequent sites like this. Above all, it is important that you believed in reincarnation in a previous life, but not in this one.

Alternatively, if you are just a genuinely nice person, that will do.

Well, there is one thing that I have always wanted to try....

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