Reading profiles vs being realistic

If I send a message, I read everything on the profile first, to be able to send a more thoughtful message. Yet despite even messages just intended to talk as friends as that's what the girl lists as what they are here for, still snob me off.

From my point of view its just bad manners, its like if someone said hello to you in the street and you run away avoiding eye contact because your too anti social to simply say hello back.

Like I could understand snobing off someone who sends a message saying "hey baby, there is a party in my pants, cum and join me" and you just want to make friends. But if someone has taken the time to read your profile and sent a thoughtful message, the VERY LEAST you can do is send a message back, saying "thanks for the message, but sorry to say i have no interest in having contact with you because....." something like this followed with a polite reason is all you need and both people can be happy.

Admittedly I've sent messages direct to the point to which I've had no reply, but these were to profiles that were bluntly put up by girls and in just as many words, here are my measurements, I want sex, and long as your nice I'll do you. with a profile like this don't expect to get the sweetest messages asking you out. You get out of this what you put in.

I've had the odd message from people that i absolutely have no interest in, maybe it just me but im courteous enough to send a friendly reply.

DominantMae, very well put, I don't always believe that the literacy side is lack of effort, as I do know quite a few people who have issues with that side. The lack of etiquette however....I cannot understand how some people expect respect, when they can be so rude and obnoxious, not to mention a lack of common decency towards others, I think all of those things are very important,no matter what someone's 'station'. A job is just a job, not what makes a person, that comes down to the actual personality and way someone treats others. I also agree that power imbalancces should only be used in play, and even then, only if both parties have trust and desire to play in that way :0)

I actually find the level of literacy and etiquette to be fairly poor all round. While the education system and texting have something to answer for I think it is indicative of the low level of effort that people are willing to put into relationships in general. Naturally it shows up in a specific relationship.

One of the best indicators is "People who are not nice to waiters are not nice people". In other words how you treat people in a relationship where it is either one sided or lacks accountability will reflect how you will treat others in a similar relationship.

That's also why I think apparent power imbalances should only comprise a couples's play aspects of a relationship :-)

sometime we just let a good thing go past and don't realize,

Yes jimmyloveslegs, there are many things worse than receiving unwanted messages but I was just curious as to the thoughts and experiences of others so I put the question out there :0)

Lol @ nasty snob sns, I don't see it that way although I do try to reply to most if not quite all, the ones I usually don't reply to are those that are rather pushy, the let's f*#$, or the one or two who have seemed rather depressed and not in a good headspace as I don't want to go there with something that should be fun and relaxing or exciting for both parties...I am getting to the stage that I am responding less and less except to those few I am already in contact with as even with them not fitting with the criteria in my profile, some still seem to push or question my polite 'thanks but no thanks' even if I have explained my reasons so it does get a bit much although I am still new to all this and do feel a little bad for not replying in some way. I think I may just need to harden up a bit in this regard as it is not really my problem if no is not in their vocabulary.....

wish there was a cure for that! lol

Lol I think you're being fair. I only contact people in my area and who seem to match my criteria, if they don't match and seem like interesting people I'll still send them a message as a friend. In the beginning I had a few with no replies but I just think they may not be logging in anymore or something. I don't think too much about it.

I'll be honest too I've seen profiles with 'nudity' and you know curiosity killed the cat lol. I'm a guy I can't help but I don't send messages to see there hidden pics, that would make feel like a weirdo lol. I don't understand tho why people would keep info hidden, like how am I supposed to know we would be a match, you know

Oh so THAT is the issue lol love it!!!